


Jareth's Birthday Party...or Why The Goblin King Hates Cake

by underground_archivist



Category: Labyrinth (1986)
Genre: One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-28
Updated: 2011-02-28
Packaged: 2020-07-30 11:30:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20096551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/underground_archivist/pseuds/underground_archivist
Summary: Jareth...cake...a clumsey goblin...need I say more?





	Jareth's Birthday Party...or Why The Goblin King Hates Cake

**Author's Note:**

> Note from banshee, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Underground](https://fanlore.org/wiki/Underground_\(Labyrinth_archive\)) and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2019. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Underground’s collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/underground/profile).

  
Author's notes:

NOTHING IS MINE! WHAAAAAA! *bawling like a two year old* {sniff, sniff} I don't even make any money off it! *the two year old resurfaces*

* * *

It was the eve of his twelve hundredth birthday and he was seated around a table with his mother and father at his left and right sides. In front of the other-worldly trio was a cake. Not just any cake either, it was a HUGE, four-layer cake with a different flavored icing on each layer. Peach, Strawberry, Vanilla, and Orange, all of his favorite flavors. The flavor of the cake itself was unknown, but it still looked delicious. His parents were singing (along with a number of goblins, but he tryed to block them out as they were horrible singers). "Happy birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear Jareth...Happy Birthday toooooo yoouuu!

The few goblins around him cheered and banged pots and pans together in excitement. His mother smiled encouragingly at the Goblin King. "Go on Jare-bear, blow out the candles!" He cursed to himself, it was bad enough that she called him Jare-bear without anyone around, but in front of his goblins?! He loved his mother too much to send her to the Bog, though, so he just blew a breath out the side of his mouth and leaned over to blow a gentle stream of air across the flickering wicks. 

Unfortunately, it was about this time that a certain goblin (for safety's sake we won't mention his name as it has been banned, lest we invoke the wrath of the awesome Goblin King and get the cleaners sent after us.) got a little too excited for his own good and tried to hop up onto the table to belt out another verse of 'Happy Birthday'. Instead of clearing the landing, he hit the edge of the table (he was at the same end as Jareth was, by the way) and caused the opposite side to fly up into the air. This, of course, ment that Jareth (being at the head of the table as it was his big day) got a face full of his birthday cake, well, actually face full indicates too small an amount. So let's say he was completly covered, head to booted toe in birthday cake.

The surprised King said nothing and several minutes went by before the 'oooohh' noises began. Then, he took a finger and wiped away some frosting from his cheek and put in his mouth. Then he promptly turned to the goblin and smiled. No, he didn't smile, more of conniving twist of his lips. With the utmost civility, the Goblin King addressed the goblin. "I wonder...have you ever been drop-kicked into a Bog before?" He said while examining his frosting-ruined leather gloves.

The confused goblin shook his head. "Good, good, then this will be a new experience." With that, he grabbed the goblin by his helmet and dropped him neatly on his foot, which had convienently come up at the precise time to catch the goblin on the behind and send him sailing out the nearest open window. 

Although a snap of his fingers could have then cleared him of the sticky mess that engulfed him, Jareth stomped off to his room. As the door slammed shut, his parents managed to catch him say,"**_Never_** **_again_**."

His father, in a poor attempt to smooth things over with the remaining party guests, cleared his throat, folded his hands in his lap and studied the mess before him. "Hmmm, that went rather well..considering his last eleven hundred and nintey-nine." The others could only nod slowly as they stared on in shocked silence.


End file.
